76 inches, 88 keys

I started writing this at least 14 times.

Today, this week, this mind, nothing is the right answer. But when i think about it, nothing is the right question either. I feel like this is me curling up into the smallest way of being human possible, to shield myself from all the philosophies and changing winds that i don't quite understand.

I cannot help but fall in love with everything that glitters, and everyone who is beautiful to me, and i cannot help but hurt when they're not around. I wish i hated, i wish i could only give halfheartedly, but i simply cannot. I cannot say goodbye without a tear, nor hello without wincing with the knowledge that the future will have to be farewell.

I don't know what i'm saying, there's too much, and there are no words. I want to fill the world with all the love i feel for it, want for it, wish upon every person walking it, i...

... don't know.

It's not enough, it's not enough, it's not enough.

Orchid.

Diary

You would think that after a season of heavy exams (hence the blog neglect), you would be able to close your eyes, count 1 to 10, and relax. On the other hand, you could have bitten off just a little more than you could chew, and find yourself replying to a seemingly endless list of important emails (Dear Whoever, I am so extremely sorry for the delay in response, I have been up to my ears in revision which should have really been done throughout the year, procrastination which I thought I had exorcised before I became a real student, and about 5 hours of sleep every night for the past month...); ignored text messages, and sorting out my life.

I have six ongoing projects at the moment, all of course with a lot of backlog. Yeesh.

On the other hand, I had a super birthday party over the weekend and got to see most of all of my favourites, but all of my most favourites (:

And now I think it's time for bed.

Orchid