Helium

It's funny, so i wrote my last post, went to sleep & the next day things just began to look up. Well, nothing really changed in substance, but something clicked. Every morning so far, i'd woken up in a brilliant mood, thinking that "today is going to be fabulous" & yet it would always descend into apathy or anger. Tuesday was different. One of those days where you wake up & you so haven't forgotten what you felt like pre-dreamtime. I'm guessing things could only have got better at that stage, so they did. After a day of lectures i headed down to Carnaby Street in search of some yarns & needles. The shop was closed, but i certainly discovered one of the most beautiful places here- i now understand what pretentious magazines mean by finding London Gems. This was one of them; down the entire street, suspended between shops, were giant heart-shaped helium balloons in a boho-tack style with 'peace' 'love' 'joy' & 'hope' written across them. I'm taking it as a sign.

I then met up with Alice from school, who also goes to UCL I haven't seen anywhere near enough of her, but that's not to say we aren't still really close. We attempted to find the knitting group, which failed, so we came back to my halls as soon as i realised i had popcorn kernels & that we both secretly love sweet & salty together. We talked about how much we hate it here, how homesick we are, how we don't go out, & how 'out' should definitely include things like communal popcorn. It was nice.

Unfortunately, or it turns out, fortunately one of my floor-mates caught a little bit of the conversation. He's always been really jokingly mean to me, so it was weird when he was actually really concerned. But much appreciated. It was weird also because me & Alice had also said that what sucks the most is that you can't talk to anybody here about how you feel because there's a certain boundary you have to pass before you lean on people, i've heard so many people here being so unsympathetic towards others. But there i was pouring my heart out to someone i've known for a little while. If i have any talents to my name, it has to be putting on an extremely happy front: "But i just had no idea you were so down, you're always so smiley."

So that's definite, solid friend number one. He said it himself.

And waking up on Wednesday morning started well & ended well, with a hearty guitar-vocals-organ midnight jam with a couple of guys here, lots & lots of Michael Jackson. Excluding a hiccup in which i was absolutely traumatised by a film screening of Dirty Pretty Things about the underground kidney-fake passport industry in London. My God we have a lot to sort out.

A hell of a lot.

Orchid.

Orchid.