Hole

Leaving the library yesterday, i rang Greg. We talked for over an hour, bye-bye minutes, hello massive phone bill, but it was all for the greater good. Or so i thought. Being on the phone, for the first time in far too long talking to somebody who actually knows me, who doesn't even need to hear the words to know what i mean (although sometimes i come out with things that are so bizarre i wouldn't be surprised if nobody in the world understood) made me feel really happy.
It's amazing how 2 seconds after hanging up i felt far, far worse than i have done here so far; in fact i'd been in a pretty good mood for a while. Bumping into people i guess i would call friends by now, & i'd laugh, dance, but as soon as i'd be by myself again i'd just collapse back into isolation. This all ended in calling my mother for the third time yesterday, when i realised i don't just miss her, i was almost pining for her; i was reminded of the chicks i had when i was younger & how, if you put them apart in the grass, they would run, run, to find each other again, or how if they were outside & i shut the door inside, they'd chirp to the point where it'd break your heart not to open the door & pick them up. They'd instantly fall asleep in my hand afterwards. I cried a lot down the phone. I guess i've been trying to see how long i could hold out for, trying to force myself into dealing with not being at home, after all, it's immature & childish to feel homesick, right?
I'm going home as soon as possible.
Adam on my floor dragged me away from my statistics (as if anyone needs to be dragged away from that) and we had a little jam in his room, a lot of Red Hot Chilli Peppers. You always seem to forget that overplayed mainstream bands are sometimes overplayed & mainstream for a very good reason.
And today is a gorgeous day, had my first geography lecture with a gorgeous lecturer (; having done some housework in the morning. Hey, check me out. Washed all my clothes by hand, don't you know. The geography lecture was awesome, i think i'm really going to enjoy this module. It's basically human ecology but takes a little more anthropology & philosophy into account. I then had a statistics lesson, & now i'm about to go food shopping, followed by a lecture given by a man who used to be a refugee & is now a judge of refugee law.

Crazy stuff.

Orchid