I just want so much to go to the Nag's Head, steal the whole sofa & have a chat with Stabby-Joe, talk about what new shops are due to open in the precinct, & get chips from Smart's on the way back home.
I want to go back to Masons, buy ribbon i will never use in every width & colour, & get especially excited when i see there's a new one in the 20p bundle basket. Go to the tearoom, talk to old women about the weather & how i'm growing up to be a lovely young lady, not like those other youths.
I want to sit under my tree in Albert Park & pretend to integrate & cross-multiply, while in fact counting blades of grass in complete bliss, waiting for Ben to arrive with Merlin on his walk, so i can tell him my next plan to save the World.
I want to catch the bus to town, complain about how extortionate the bus prices are, how much better transport is here, but know that i would never in London experience the same comfort i do when i see the same bus drivers who helped me catch the bus by myself for the first time, let me off when i had no money, asked me about my day, believed me when i lied about my age, laughed at me when i finally dropped that pretense. I want to get off at St Aldates, rush for no reason through the crowds, walk to Cornmarket, to HMV & see who the new kids in town are; feel disgusted at how mouthy & obnoxious today's 15-year-olds are. Go to Shakeaway, visit Emma for a while- although maybe not anymore- then to Mahogany, & wave to Rupert through the window. Call Chloe, laugh, cry, scream. Get ambushed by Melissa ;)
Go to Kennington, for swings & minimilks, & more swings &, actually, no roundabouts.
Pretend to myself that i'm going to go out to the Bridge, meet everyone at the Red Lion or something, then decide to go home at 9. Walk back alone in the pitch black, & stop, stare, at St Michael's church, because it's so beautiful at night. Open the gate, step lightly to the porch, look in, look for flowers, or someone who could change my life forever. I just feel that's the sort of place you'd meet them. Out through another gate, down the road, slip my key into the lock, & go & tell my Mother all about my day.
And i'd say it had been wonderful.
Orchid.
:')
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