And your hands, they shake with goodbyes.

Okay, maybe a little odd to start blogging now, or at all in fact; i've never been one to keep a diary and certainly being the type of person to sit at home writing while everyone else has been out, i've had the chance to, but i'm also quite backwards, so right now, when i'm going to be more busy than i ever have been in my life, i decide to start this. Slow clapping time.
I figured it'd be quite neat timing though as i've been quite snug in my coccoon & refusing to budge for a long time, but i actually took the plunge & am going to uni in the most far out of my comfort zone place in the world... London should be interesting to say the least.
Goodbyes have been bizarre but all i seem to be doing at the moment. I realised i desperately needed to see some people before i go about 2 weeks ago, & crazily enough it's my friends from school that i've been trying really hard to find. I spent so much of school thinking i didn't fit in, & when i finally did make some really solid friendships, i still felt as if i still wasn't quite in the right place. Hell, i was wrong. I love everyone so much & now cannot fathom how anyone else will put up with me, or understand me the way they did. And maybe i should have gone to Kukui with them, even if it is the pinnacle of crap!
Friday i went for a last minute coffee with Sophia; seeing her saying goodbye to Bo, even if it was only for the nest few hours, really made me realise that this is actually it. Saturday was my last day at work, which, unlike the vast majority of saturday girls in the world, i loved to pieces. Afterwards i made my way to pizza express for a 'last supper' with my friends from the High, saying a final goodbye to Nikki, among others who i assumed i'd see again but haven't. On monday i went back to school which was lovely, my teachers love me, mahaha. I paid Leo a visit in the art block as well, & then headed to Ivy's shed & talked about Lolita- SUCH a good book.
Tuesday i spent the day with Rachel- i miss her so much already & will definitely be 'raving' it up in cambridge with her asap. Hot chocolates with Sophie in the afternoon & then i returned home for some more packing (it never ends). Yesterday was stressful with MORE packing. In the end i gave up & went to Greg's, finally. We walked to town & having planned on going to the randolph for tea (cheaper than starbucks, sweardown), pizza express, the cinema, maxwells... we went to branos. Yeahhh. Because i'm an idiot & forget that i do not have the physical prowess of a cat, i suggested we climb up to one of the window ledges outside the Bod. We sat there for a bit, judging everyone walking past while they judged us for... climbing skills? Sang along to Panic, loudly. Sat in some silence, comfortably. Parfait. We walked back to Kennington & to THE swings, which is one of my favourite places in Oxford. Sweet.
And damn you Greg, i cried.
I put myself through more organisation today, but kept myself sane by seeing Ben at lunchtime. Ben = win. Saying bye to Ben = whyyyy?
Chloe came to pick me up at 7 ish as we planned to go for dinner at a pub in Appleton... we got quite close to Henley & still hadn't found Appleton so we looped round & ended up back on Boars Hill... we carried on down into the most random private roads, surrounded by trees when Chlo suddenly goes 'oh, i know where we are!'. So we get to Appleton... in Chlo's mind. We got to Wooton. We carried on driving & ended up almost on the way to Bristol, when in bright shiny lights we suddenly saw the pub. We are amazing, & that is why. It was one of the best drives ever though. Dinner was lovely & Chlo dropped me back off home... it took about 5 minutes. Lol, is all i can say.

I'm really really full of love right now, if that makes any sense. I am in a constant state of welling up. Tomorrow will be fun then (;

I don't promise to keep this up properly, but i promise to try.

Orchid